Monday, December 28, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
- Non-Rapid Eye Movement (NREM)
- Rapid Eye Movement (REM)
Stage 5 - REM
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
"The fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskevidekatriaphobia, a word derived from the concatenation of the Greek words Paraskeví (Παρασκευή) (meaning Friday), and dekatreís (δεκατρείς) (meaning thirteen), attached to phobía (φοβία) (meaning fear). The term triskaidekaphobia derives from the Greek words "tris", meaning 'three', "kai", meaning 'and', and "deka", meaning 'ten'. the whole word means three and ten. "
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Today I heard about this movie called Paranormal Activity, currently being claimed to be one of the scariest movies ever made. Lets see if I would watch it sometime. I think the success of a horror movie lies in the element of fear created in the movie. A horror movie doesn't need to be gory in order to be scary. Movies like Grudge are much more scary as compared to movies like Evil dead or The exorcist. Apparently Paranormal Activity is not a gory movie, but is very scary. Someday when I take psychology seriously, one of my fantasies is to research in the field of parapsychology.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Oftentimes, we supposedly like people, fall in love with them or whatever. We begin to rationalize their actions, though not all of their actions make us happy. I am absolutely no exception to this. Infact I believe, I do this almost all the time. But on the other hand, when someone likes you, they rationalize your actions, they understand you, they try to do things to make you happy. In the long run I think one will be happy being with someone who loves them as opposed to being with someone they love. Success might give you a feeling of triumph and a temporary happiness, but it is not going to give you the eternal happiness and peace of mind you need in life. By being with someone who loves you, you are making yourself happy and making them successful, win-win right? There might be people who would argue with what I am saying. As a matter of fact, I might have argued this point myself earlier in my life.
Ultimately all of us want to be happy, accepted and liked. I have seen many people do this, and of course I am absolutely no less, I have done this. What I am talking about is going after someone madly just because you like them whether they like you are not. You give up your ego, and beyond a point your self esteem and go after someone who may not really be worth it. You cry, you let them break your heart, you let them act just as they want just because you believe you like them. Think about it, what is the point in doing all this? When someone doesn't care about you, your acts are only going to make you appear claustrophobic and clingy. And after a point you will ultimately give up and then think about it and be annoyed with how stupid you acted. There is this quote about tears that I love-
" No one is worth your tears, and the one who is, will never let you cry."
So very true. Instead of putting all these efforts and losing your mind on someone who doesn't care much, if only we put half of those efforts on liking someone who loves us, we would be so very happy in life. That reminds me of another one of my favorite quotes-
" Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone. "
Someone who loves us will never leave us alone and even if they do it, they probably would do it to make us happy. Loneliness hurts more than any pain one can have. Think about it, do you want to be happy or successful in a relationship? I have decided atleast for myself that I will be with someone who loves me and values me.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
I was working on writing a software requirements document today where I had to write about canned responses. While writing about it, it just struck me, how even in our daily lives, we use various canned responses. Let me give you some examples. When a wife wants the husband to take her out shopping, the husband has a few canned responses he would always pick from to avoid going from one shop to another carrying bags. These canned responses could include, having lot of work and not being able to come home soon, or, feeling very tired and not feeling too well etc. When a girl brings up the marriage topic, the boyfriend who is not ready for commitment will pick from his set of canned responses. Similarly, for showing up late at work, we always come up with one of the few usual responses which include, heavy traffic or an accident, or flat tire etc etc. Often people give me any one of their canned responses, for any question that I ask them frequently. Amazes me, how we use such responses as a way of escapism or avoiding confrontation. Oh by the way, I am not any good either, I am a queen of using canned responses, but, then I try to vary them a lot.. ;)
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
This kind of answered my question. A lot of times, frankness and speaking your truth, comes as arrogance and egoism to a lot of people. My introspection gives me data which says that, per the above definition of ego, I am egoistic if the first definition of ego is considered right and I am not egoistic if the second definition of ego is considered right. I could try to make every person I know, understand that I am not really an egoist, but then whats the point? I am really not trying to prove any point here. All I really am trying to say is, if speaking out my mind is egoism, then yes, I am an egoist. Similarly, if being assertive is egoism, then yes, I am an egoist. If standing up for myself is egoism, then yes I am an egoist. If defending myself when others treat me like a piece of crap, then yes I am an egoist.
As humans, every single one of us is selfish. Afterall, that is why we are humans. Don't we remember, Darwin's theory? But sometimes, being focused and determined, is misinterpreted as being selfish. I believe that as long as you don't have an intent to harm anyone emotionally, mentally and physically to achieve your goals, you are not to be called self centered.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Sometimes life leaves us with limited choices and it is difficult to choose between those limited choices. But the goal is ultimately to get going. If you can’t really have what you like then probably the best thing to do would be to like what you have. Some years back I was in an HR training session, and heard about this whole concept of how to distinguish between success and happiness. Success was defined as getting what you like and Happiness was defined as liking what you get. What I am trying to learn and eventually accomplish is to make peace with my past, be happy with my present and aim to succeed in my future.
All these things are easier said than done. Some past events or relationships leave deep wounds on our minds and hearts. With time, they do have to slowly vanish, which is nature’s rule. But then the scars are left behind. While some people find it really easy to move on, some take a few days, some take weeks, some take months or years, and there are also people who take literally lifelong to get over their past and move on. Although it is not easy to get over an unpleasant or traumatic past, however, it is not far from possible.
Most of the times, past events tend to make our mind form certain paradigms, which may or may not be actually true. Sometimes these paradigms could be absolute illusions and nothing else. A kid who has been abused sexually during childhood, with time forms a paradigm in his/her mind that all people of the opposite gender are abusive in nature and feels insecure. Similarly, sometimes even parents do this, a child who has not been a good student during childhood is not many a times encouraged and criticized all the time , this is because of their paradigm. People who have had bad relationships have their own paradigms with time. Even I am myself one example of that. A lot of my friends stopped talking to me without even telling me why. I gradually formed a paradigm that friends are people who will not stay with you but will vanish suddenly when you need them. Similarly, I have seen people who have paradigms that if I have they been dumped once or twice, every next person in their life will also dump them.
A child who is scolded for not scoring high in exams initially feels sad, but he is hurt more when he is compared with another fellow classmate. Over a period of time, child eventually starts thinking in relative terms than absolute terms. Every time if other kids are appreciated for something, the kid starts thinking that he is not worthy of appreciation and he is not capable of it. Meaning, the kid starts to take things more personally and develops an inferiority complex.
It is true wounds that the past leaves on us psychologically can make us wary, but one thing I have seen is, all these paradigms are not true most of the time and eventually we are the losers. Past events are more to be used as steps to success. Experience makes a man better. There is really no better teacher than experience. The biggest risk in life is not taking any risk at all. That being the case, once we understand that it is nature’s rule that for every good there is a bad, for every right, there is a wrong. Even Newton’s law says this, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Brooding over something that has already occurred is going to take you nowhere.
जीवन तो गाड़ी है इस्को तो चलना है, राहों में स्टेशन तो आते हैं जाते हैं
ग़म तेरा स्टेशन है, इस्को तो जाना है चलता चल खुशियों का भी स्टेशन आना है
Many a times, our hanging on to the past affects, not just us, but also the people around us. By not moving ahead, we sometimes hold others too from moving on. It is sad but very true. Truly hanging on to the past is like hanging on to a disease. A wound whether physical or emotional has to be healed. It is not always the best option to leave it to time to heal it. We can take steps to heal our emotional wounds.
A mistake that most of us make is that we generalize events of the past. If a girl dumps a guy, the guy generalizes that all girls are the same; they would dump men and go. If one girl does that, not all girls have to do that. It is extremely unfair to generalize the character of all girls based on the character or rather an act of a single girl. If there is a bad girl, there would definitely be a good girl too. But by the generalization, the girls are not losing anything; the guy is missing some girl who might actually make a perfect match for him. Similarly, a person who failed in something a few times eventually decides, these grapes are sour.
Unpleasant past also can sometimes make a person judgmental. But just stop and think, is it fair enough? Typically when we tend to blame others for something,most often, we are trying to hide or run away from some mistake or some negative characteristic of ours. The habit of blaming others or time is something very common for a person affected by the past. Blame game is going to get you nowhere. Making peace with the past is not easy. But as I said, it is definitely possible. Some people say, accept your past. Accept it, let past thoughts just pass through your mind like clouds. But I know when you are depressed, you tend to have what is called a monkey mind.
मन की गति वायु से भी अधिक है
Mind wanders, jumps from one thought to another. Sometimes, one thought leads to another and so on, a chain of thoughts is formed. It could be overwhelming. But with time, one can definitely do it, provided, he has the will to overcome the past. I always tell people, I laugh at my past. Though deep somewhere in my heart, there are wounds which have left me deeply hurt. But I have really seen this work for me. The more I talk about making fun of it, the better I feel. It is a paradoxical thing. When you are over your past, you can laugh about it, and when you can laugh about your past, you can overcome it easily.
Different people will tell you different things, some people will say, just go into the deep roots of the past, and find out what exactly is the problem. Most of the talk therapies will involve this. Meanwhile, some people will tell you, stop thinking about past, just move, replace thoughts of the past with thoughts of present or future. Choice is completely ours. However, once you accept your past, laugh at it. It is all yours. One need not have to forget the past. You just need to change the way you look at it. Think of it as a valuable experience. If the past is such an irritating specimen, what is the point in letting the past rule you. After all it is a free world, free will. Don’t let your past rule you, gain control over your past. This minute is going to become past for the next minute, so try to make the best of each present moment rather than brooding over the past. Past is long gone, and every current moment is a gift, that is why it is called Present.