Religionism annoys me!

India trip particularly the 1 week visit to Chennai has been pretty exhaustive, but not too bad considering that I am not a huge fan of Chennai. As I have been growing up, my idea of god has changed quite a lot. I was at the Srirangam temple day before yesterday morning and something caught my attention inside the premises - the line " Only Hindus allowed beyond this point." The very first voice in my head exclaimed that the line was so racist. May be that was not perfectly said, but I meant to say that we claim that god is one and we openly practice religionism to the highest degree. Choices and beliefs are personal to people as I always say. People may choose to marry people of the religion they choose and may choose to follow religious practices and cultural beliefs based on their wishes. But to me, religious places should be accessible and allow the entry of any person irrespective of their race, color, caste, creed, religion and what not. As they taught us in school, when animals enter such places, we don't really throw them out or restrict their entry based on their religion or caste, then why not treat humans equally. I keep hearing from people in India about how people now are getting more and more broadminded and caste-ism, religionism, etc are slowly seeing extinction. But I don't think I would agree completely. No matter how much we claim, that these things don't exist anymore, yet, these are pretty much existent though in a smaller degree. I am not a lot into sociology, but from a layman perspective religionism exists everywhere. One morning in US, I was on a call with my mom and suddenly there was a knock on the door and I was hesitant but still went ahead and opened the door. A family of three was at the door. These people asked me some useless questions and voices in my head were screaming, " come to the point now!". Then the female says she wants to introduce me to Christianity and about me me converting into a Christian. I was completely annoyed. I mean why force people to convert to a different religion? It sucks completely. Meanwhile in India, people still are losing their minds over religions.  It is hard sometimes for masses to accept that ultimately we are still human beings. May be because we have a so- called sixth sense and since we are humans and each one of us different in our own ways; we tend to segregate ourselves based on religion. It is pretty much human nature to associate and categorize ourselves, but excessive zealousness towards one particular category which kind of portrays an addiction isn't good for the very human existence. As we move forward in time, aren't we supposed to develop ourselves and improve anything currently existent? Shouldn't we be moving towards broadmindedness? Shouldn't institutions which some people blindly follow, teach people better things? Shouldn't these teach people that god is one, and that religion is just a mere categorization and doesn't necessarily portray people as being different as in some high and some low. There has to be a realization that all this is not going to bring any good to anybody and there has to be a change in the mindset of people. Ignorance may be bliss but not for these kind of social issues.   

The God and the Satan in me!

I am not a believer of idol worship. But I am not an atheist either. When I feel sane, I believe in a supreme force who I call god and I talk to him sometimes, make wishes, and consider him my guardian angel who resides inside me who will take care of me when I am in utmost need. This is not an area of expertise for me, but if Newton's third law is applied not just on verbs but on nouns as well, for a good force there has to be an opposing negative or bad force. Different religions call these negative forces differently. But for my convenience and ease, I am going to call it the Satan. (Thanks to several novels I have read :P). Sometimes I feel, I am slowly being dominated by the Satan in me. The god in me hasn't really vanished, but is probably now becoming dormant inside me. But the satan in me, is beginning to be more prominent in my attitude several times. Much too often, I feel this wrath of rage inside me, keeps popping out every now and then, particularly when people talk non stop and that too about me growing up and about the fact that I should get married, or when I feel someone is treating someone badly, or when I feel an air of unnecessary fear, tension around me and so many more things, some of them utterly silly. Yes, it is true that many a times I am way too hard on myself, and I don't know why. Anyways coming back to the Satan. I don't feel like killing people or like biting them or anything, but yes, I get mad with rage sometimes. May be I should conveniently blame it on the society. I am probably mad at several social norms. I lose my mind when people talk about women as being inferior even in the faintest of matters, or when people drive me nuts with some of the ridiculous superstitious beliefs. I agree a belief is something personal but I don't think it makes sense to impose one's beliefs on others, if they don't like it. My preference towards less talk and to do what I like, as fair as possible though, is defined as arrogance, my confidence comes across as cocky. Satan in me doesn't care about what others think, but the left over god in me sometimes feels that I am losing control over my temper and my tongue and doesn't like my perception of what the society or in a smaller scale, relatives think of me. But then coming to think of it, if I were arrogant, I wouldn't be writing about this here and if I were perfect there wouldn't have been a need to write about this in the first place. Well that sounded like some justification I am giving to myself. As I am writing this and reading it back, I feel it all comes down to perception, because according to me good, bad are both relative. These days, every time I feel overwhelmed that I am filled with Satan, I ask myself about the intentions of my rage within or some of my actions or words. The answer is clear- my intention is not to harm or hurt anyone. I try not to fool myself by trying to be nice, when I don't feel good about something. It's a matter of sheer low tolerance or may be just being open about how I feel. I am still not sure if the Satan is dominant or the god is dominant, I am just doing what I feel. That being said, I have decided to work a little on my tolerance and good or bad, I think it is fair enough to do what makes you happy but only if it really makes you happy.                

The Wisdom Teeth

            I was at a dentist's the other day and as she was checking out my teeth, she suddenly said, where did this wisdom come from? For a minute, I felt she was a shrink and not a dentist. And then she says, she was referring to my wisdom tooth which was coming out. I was wondering why the wisdom teeth are called wisdom teeth indeed. There are probably multiple theories for wisdom teeth. But from my understanding biologically, I dont feel, wisdom teeth can be associated with any wisdom, but actually can be associated with pain and irritation.Wisdom teeth in most people either impacts the teeth surrounding it or impacts itself or the gums and what not. To me, wisdom teeth are like uninvited guests who just show up even when you don't want them around. And my understanding is that extraction process of these teeth is also a pretty painful affair.  

           So then why associate this with wisdom? I dont even think it makes sense. No teeth is going to bring in wisdom into us. One of the theories about wisdom teeth is that these appear at a point or age of our lives when we get wisdom. This theory is much more sensible than other theories about the same. But to  be honest, this theory in its own way is stupid. Wisdom psychologically doesn't come just with age, but with experience and more exposure to knowledge and tough life situations, and as a matter of fact, research  (Univ of Cal) suggests that wisdom is associated with more than one brain center getting activated, depending upon the situations your brain faces. Meanwhile philosophers associate wisdom with spirituality and intuition. Intuition itself according to me comes from experience and is not something completely innate. Some of the terms coined for things are completely misleading and we as humans always try to categorize things and always have a need to associate everything with something or the other. So our forefathers probably had to associate these teeth which forcefully grow at an age when we think all our permanent teeth have grown completely and they associated these with age and maturity that begins to emerge higher at around this age. It could also be an indication to tell you that you are no more a kid and that you have to grow up now.

Creative Void!

Off late, I have been having a creative void. As a matter of fact, for over a year now, I often feel that I have lost my creativity. I used to be able to draw, paint, do craft work, write essays, make scrapbooks etc etc etc. I have been consoling myself by reminding myself of the stress I have been through, the busy schedules I have been having. However, not sure if that is the reason for this creative void. I have lost my creativity in blogging too. So I have been try to creatively think for the past couple of days as to why people could have a creative void. Probably it is a lack of motivation, or may be it is the height of boredom, or may be it is depression or may be it is a latent stress because of procrastinating too many things whatever the reason is, a creative void feels pretty difficult to overcome.

There are some psychological techniques to increase one's creativity. As soon as a creative idea or thought strikes our mind, it is a great idea to capture that in a diary, or a journal or a piece of paper. The next thing would be to challenge the mind by trying to do new things, trying to solve new, different problems. Beyond both of these, our environments and surroundings majorly help increase our creativity. As much as I have put down some ways to help increase creativity, that much I have to admit that I am unable to overcome my creative void. May be this effort to write about creative void would kindle back my creativity.

I hate backbiting!

Anytime I am asked to write about my pet hates, be it in any social networking site, I always mention that something that I hate the most is backbiting. Believe it or not, there is almost no place without at least some degree of backbiting; in schools, in corporate environments, and even among family relatives. As I grew up, I always thought, as I would grow up, the encounters I would have with backbiters will reduce. I used to somehow associate backbiting with immaturity and thought that older people don’t talk behind people’s backs. I have been taught by several experiences that my thought was absolutely wrong. As I grew up, the backbiting I encountered only increased more.

I know it is human tendency to love to gossip and talk about others more than about them except some narcissists, of course. In fact it is almost impossible not to talk about others if you want to have so- called pleasing conversations with several people. Most people who talk about something academic or philosophical etc are considered ‘boring’, while people who can talk non- stop bullshit about others are definitely found interesting by most. There might be people who might refute what I just said, but I can’t help feeling that this is how much of the society works. How in the world would something called ‘trust’ ever develop between people when backbiting prevails in such a great degree? Naturally, people are tempted to isolate from people around them and instead go pay a shrink to talk to. But what hurts more is when you don’t talk behind people’s back, and yet people assume that you spoke ill of them behind them and then move away from you. I have had experiences where I would come to know later that people who I considered as really good friends had actually spoken ill of me or leaked out secrets of mine or worst still, said false things about me behind my back. I learnt most of my lessons in backbiting during my undergrad days. There was a certain period in my life back during my undergrad days, where I felt I could not trust anyone and was scared of talking to anyone of the fear that they might misuse anything I speak against me. I don’t think I can ever get over that fear completely, but I have slowly learnt my ways of dealing with such situations though mostly there is nothing much one can do once the damage has been done.

It is inevitable to bitch about people you don’t like and in some cases you can’t complain of someone bothering you, say a boss or a professor or a celebrity right in front of them, and I am sure others do that about you too. But I don’t think it is fair enough to talk ill about someone and ruin their lives in any way. Think of being a victim of someone’s backbiting where you are at a loss; honestly it is not very pleasing. I feel strongly that you don’t necessarily have to do good for everyone surrounding you, but you can definitely make sure that you are not doing any bad to anyone around you and at the least not talk to everyone about things people told you because they trusted you.

Fairy Tales

         Most of us would have read at least one fairy tale during our lives. Reading a fairy tale before going to sleep at night relaxes me and actually helps me fall asleep. As children most of us tend to believe that fairy tales, fictional characters etc are all real. Our lives are typically happy. Because we don't add a pinch of practicality to every single thing and our minds hardly feel stressed. We go to the extent of imagining ourselves as those fictional characters.

         As we grow up, life situations, society and everything around us force us to learn to add practicality into our thoughts. At first the child in us tends to think that any problem we face would mellow down and eventually would vanish, that something magical would happen and things would change radically, or that some angel or may be god himself will bestow upon a boon or two in our favor and we would suddenly become the richest or the happiest person or what not. But the more experiences we have, particularly negative experiences, the more the adult in us immediately thinks practically and says to himself, that no such fairies or angels or magical moments exist in real life and that is exactly what we call as reality striking itself to us. This adult in us gets cultivated more through parents, teachers and other adults in our lives along with experiences than through formal education. It is however a different issue that education does influence, how well this adult gets groomed as an individual.

          Even as grown ups most of us don't give up the fairy tale thoughts. While it would be silly to just quote cliche movie examples where people wait for their dream guy or girl to show up in their lives, but in someways it is fair enough an example. We have grown smart enough to realize that kissing a frog is not going to turn the frog into a prince, but several of us are ready to take the chance of trying to kiss several frogs in the hope of finding the prince soon.

          It is as simple as this, each of us have the perspective of looking at ourselves as the main central character in our life story and that everything around us is just associated/disassociated with us, the central character. It is not uncommon for anyone of us to be thinking that we are the central character of our life story, so everything good will happen to us and that an angel could enter into our lives someday. But even as our mind gets a little preoccupied with such a thought, just as in all fairy tales, there are always some witches and demons around who will remind us that the angel we are waiting isn't really anywhere to be seen and that we have fight our battle ourselves. Despite these hardships, I think it is fine to a certain extent to believe that angels, magical moments will occur, if these angels are being compared to positive outlook, hope and faith.

Profile Writing 001

          I do crazy things everyday and for today's quota, I was looking  at profiles of girls in a matrimony website. I am not looking for girls, god, I am straight. But, I have been meaning to do this for quite sometime following a conversation with a friend of mine. Basically in our conversation, we started with talking about what kind of expectations girls have and guys have when trying to look for their partner for marriage or even dating for that matter. These choices don't always line up, oh by the way I am referring to expectations from a potential date and expectations from a potential wife/hubby. Nevertheless, that is a separate blog topic and I will write about that soon after completing a little bit more of my homework for that. Coming back to what I was saying. After my conversation consisting of accusations, few defenses, and eventually hell lot of laughter, I decided to look at the profiles of girls in a popular matrimony site. I didn't bother taking a look at dating websites for the same. Since my discussion was pretty much focused on Indian girls, I looked up on an Indian Matrimony website. It is of no surprise that my own profile as well exists on that website. 

          Remembering my conversation with my buddy, I laughed at a few profiles, and totally shameless that I am, I have laughed at some mens' profiles too in the past. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to laugh at the people themselves. I mean that is not fair enough and my intention is never to laugh at anyone. I respect people's opinions, choices and what not. But some profiles were funny and I am sorry, I could not control my laughter. Anyways, on a serious note, most mens' profiles that I have seen say that they would like the girl to be traditional yet modern, who should have high family values and should be able to gel with their family as hers. They would like the girl to be tall, fair, beautiful and homely and fun loving etc etc etc. So today when I looked at profiles of girls,for many of them, parts of their 'about me' sections are pretty much like answers to these requirements from men. I don't really blame that. But there is one point which always has stuck in my mind, 'The traditional yet modern' thing. May be I am in ignorance, but I don't understand how these two could go hand in hand. Other funny thing is that a lot of guys' partner preference section says, knowledge of carnatic music is preferred, and if I were to write in tamil, my thoughts, that come to my mind as soon as I read that, I would be breaking a decent ethical code of writing that I have been following in my blogs. Anyways, as I looked at the girls' profiles, I found a lot of girls whose about me section say that they have knowledge of carnatic music and dance etc. Now coming to the partner preferences of girls. As my buddy was mentioning the other day, almost all girls are looking for a tall guy, smart, handsome, intelligent with a sense of humor. But their focus is more along the lines of education, secure jobs. As my friend was making fun, that every girl wants a tall guy, and that means all the medium height guys are left out. :P. There is so much more I wish to write here and comment on, but atleast for now I dont want to do it, and the day my profile is deleted from the matrimony website, I will very happily write and laugh at those points.

          Anyways, bottomline is that your profile is like your resume. You have to market yourself at first using your profile. That being said, its a separate argument as to what level of honesty is needed when writing your profile information. But remember you are not trying to (get hired/ ) hire someone for a job, so writing stern requirements in terms of partner preferences doesnt seem very appealing to me atleast. I am not sure what point I have tried to make in this blog post. I think all I want to say is that, reading profiles of other people seems like a nice hobby ;)