Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The greatest enemy of a woman is another woman!

There is a saying in Tamil which when translated goes like this - "A woman's enemy is another woman". So very true...I was watching the usual talk show Neeya Naana the other day. The debate was between feminists and women against feminism. It was a pretty hot debate with women on both sides screaming. Surprisingly more noise came from the non-suffragist side. They portrayed the part of the society which I hate the most. Before I proceed, I have to make it clear that I am a big time feminist and a proponent of men-women equality. I also want to put a little disclaimer here - Most of what I am writing in this blog post would perfectly fit Indian society, culture,women and might/ might not be suitable with respect to women of other countries, cultures etc mostly because of my limited knowledge of the lives and statuses of women in other countries. So getting back to where I was. The women against feminism reminded me of most women in our society who in my opinion are the biggest enemies of other women. These women are advocates of family and children are more important than self for a woman. Women should cater to the needs of husbands and family and should make that their priority. According them women should almost have no dreams and aspirations except those which do not come as a hindrance to their family or husband or even parents' wishes in some cases and that they should go ahead to fulfill these dreams when their families or husbands allow them to. In their opinion, sacrifice, adjustment, compromise are trademarks of women and define who women are. These women themselves have been brought up by their parents constantly telling them that they are girls and that they should be ready to make sacrifices and should consider everything but themselves more important than themselves and that men are gods on earth etc. And these women carry the legacy forward by passing them forward to their daughters. The kind I am mentioning here includes not only downtrodden and uneducated women but also women from some well-off and educated families. In the eyes of these women, feminism is a disgrace to women community. They fail to understand that it is because of feminists that their conditions in society have improved atleast a little. It is very easy to portray feminist women as the kind who just give up their families and bring disgrace to their families instead and that these women way more than ultra modern women who could give up anything even their own dignity to do anything. Even as I write this, I am made with rage. Feminists only advocate something which is going to bring equality to all. But the non-feminist women ruin not just their own lives, but the lives of other women as well. A 'good woman' in our society is one who can is the epitome of self sacrifice, who doesn't do anything against the wish of her family, who agrees and even advocates that men are superior and better, who talks, acts, dresses up in a manner approved by the society, family etc. Non- feminists make sure they fall into the category of 'good woman' and are more concerned about how society looks at them. While feminists care more about what they feel is right and fair enough, this does not mean that they bring a disgrace to everyone or that they are incapable of care and affection towards family and friends or that their intentions are only to insult the society. Feminists prefer to be themselves as opposed to being something other want them to be. Anyways, the whole point about women being enemies of women is close to indisputable. Non - feminist women who keep advocating directly or indirectly that men are better are enemies of women, mother-in-laws who think their daughter in laws are witches who snatch away their sons from them are enemies of women, women who because of jealousy or any other reason talk as badly as possible about other women are enemies of women, women who keep emotionally instilling a sort of guilt in other women of being not- good when they do not completely follow society's so called norms are enemies of women. As much as many men try to suppress women, in my opinion, more than that, it is some women who suppress other women. Why should a woman be another woman's enemy, aren't they supposed to support each other? Aren't they supposed to stand united for the equality of men and women?


  1. Greatest enemy to men are men as well. Men degrade themselves.

    1. Not really, men are awesome buddies :)