Thursday, August 5, 2010

Acme!

Today marked a pinnacle point in my life. I submitted my resignation at work this afternoon. While I could go into details of what provoked me into quitting my job suddenly today, I personally don't want to discuss about my well my ex- firm here. I always felt that I was not the employment material, probably because of my very nature and the type of person I am. I am more of the person who would rather do something which is all mine, like run my own business or conduct research or may be sit and counsel people but not fit for being employed by somebody and working under them. I am not the strongest self these days and did cry this afternoon following the submission of the resignation email, but I feel much better since evening. I got inspired to write this blog post  from a blog buddy's blog post (http://kaushiknarasimhan.blogspot.com/2008/11/flight-to-freedom.html) which upon reading, made me feel was written for me, considering my present state of mind. I am soon on my way to catching the flight to my freedom. While this resignation may not really be an end of US forever for me, however for the time being it definitely is, even if I am coming back to the in coming years. As of now, I want to go back home and rejuvenate myself and fill up my creative well again and enjoy my freedom. I am tired of losing my mind and losing my sense of self and reality, my confidence and several of my abilities. It may be unfair to put all the blame for my emotional unhealthiness on the US, but for the time being it is convenient for me. I have been away from home for almost 8 years now, but my life changed completely after coming to the US. I came here chasing my dreams of higher studies, completed it successfully. Then I wanted a job with an H1B visa, and I was one of the first few in my class during Masters to get a job and that too with one of the Big Four Consulting firm. But none of these probably gave me peace of mind or a sense of satisfaction and as a matter of fact the effects on me were only depressing. The sense of freedom I had while I was a student since I loved studies and loved what I was doing was almost never there. There was of course a lot of money, but that was overwhelming too, and all I did was throwing around money extravagantly. Money is an important part of life, but I have lived, experienced and now totally believe my thoughts which I have always had, that money is not going to bring you happiness, money is not going to take your loneliness away from you, money is not going to shower you with love and support when you need it. I am sure this is a marking a new beginning in my life. My ticket to freedom is now just a day away.

4 comments:

  1. Best of luck for your future Pavi. I need to take the same decision some day, most probably sooner than later :D

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  2. Awesome. It takes immense courage to take such a decision and execute it, while some people can just write about it.

    All the best for whatever you will be doing in India.

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  3. Freedom fighternu award tharattumaa!

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  4. really great..salute your courage for executing what your heart says...good luck for your future..hope some day i will also get the courage!!

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