Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Ugly Truth 2- Someone you love Vs Someone who loves you = Success Vs Happiness

So here I am back to blogging. I try my best to write everyday, but somehow, it just doesn't seem to work out. I am going to talk about another lesson learnt in life. Sometime last year, my younger bro was telling me, about how much happier I will be if I choose to be with someone who loves me as opposed to being with someone I love. At that time, what my brother seemed to be right to me, but not much acceptable to my heart. I guess I always learn things the hard way. I always define success and happiness in single lines. Success is getting what you like and Happiness is liking what you get. I think the definitions of these are no different when it comes to relationships.

Oftentimes, we supposedly like people, fall in love with them or whatever. We begin to rationalize their actions, though not all of their actions make us happy. I am absolutely no exception to this. Infact I believe, I do this almost all the time. But on the other hand, when someone likes you, they rationalize your actions, they understand you, they try to do things to make you happy. In the long run I think one will be happy being with someone who loves them as opposed to being with someone they love. Success might give you a feeling of triumph and a temporary happiness, but it is not going to give you the eternal happiness and peace of mind you need in life. By being with someone who loves you, you are making yourself happy and making them successful, win-win right? There might be people who would argue with what I am saying. As a matter of fact, I might have argued this point myself earlier in my life.

Ultimately all of us want to be happy, accepted and liked. I have seen many people do this, and of course I am absolutely no less, I have done this. What I am talking about is going after someone madly just because you like them whether they like you are not. You give up your ego, and beyond a point your self esteem and go after someone who may not really be worth it. You cry, you let them break your heart, you let them act just as they want just because you believe you like them. Think about it, what is the point in doing all this? When someone doesn't care about you, your acts are only going to make you appear claustrophobic and clingy. And after a point you will ultimately give up and then think about it and be annoyed with how stupid you acted. There is this quote about tears that I love-

" No one is worth your tears, and the one who is, will never let you cry."

So very true. Instead of putting all these efforts and losing your mind on someone who doesn't care much, if only we put half of those efforts on liking someone who loves us, we would be so very happy in life. That reminds me of another one of my favorite quotes-

" Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone. "

Someone who loves us will never leave us alone and even if they do it, they probably would do it to make us happy. Loneliness hurts more than any pain one can have. Think about it, do you want to be happy or successful in a relationship? I have decided atleast for myself that I will be with someone who loves me and values me.

1 comment:

  1. You write very well. Super Pavi :)